لخّصلي

Is it true that men don’t ask for directions? Do women talk more than men? Are men more jealous than women? Who likes the color red? Is there more to the difference between males and females than meets the eye? The answers are yes, no, yes, males and a resounding yes! Of course, these are generalizations. They don’t apply to all men or women. However, after decades of study, scientists and researchers have concluded that there are important differences in the way males and females think, speak, and act; in their values and habits, in what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. And they know that these differences are true across countries, cultures, ages, and other factors.
Does this mean something that you’ve known all along? It may, but not everyone has agreed with that. Over the years, there have been varying opinions on this subject. In the 1960s and 1970s, when women were fighting for equality, many people said that males and females were not different beyond the physical. They gave dolls to boys and trucks to girls. They said that society taught girls and boys to behave differently. In one way, they were right. Males and females are basically alike. We’re all human, after all. And society certainly does affect our thinking and behavior. Nevertheless, researchers now know that there are distinct differences between males and females that are not just social. They know for sure that not only are men’s and women’s brains different but they use their brains differently as well!
If you think that boys and girls are different from birth, you’re right! From the time they’re born, boys and girls differ in the way they function and the way their brain works. Boy babies are more interested in objects than in people. Girl babies respond to the human voice more than boys do. At play, little girls naturally practice carrying infants. On the other hand, little boys play more actively and aggressively. Researchers agreed a long time ago that girls have better language abilities than boys. But now they know that it’s all in their heads- that is, their brains. Both areas of the brain that deal with language work harder in girls than in boys. Also, girls use different parts of the brain when performing language tasks. Boys, however are better at solving technical problems and have better math skills.
Recently, scientists and researchers have come up with a number of interesting differences between males and females. These differences are in ways as simple as color preferences and as complicated as memory. If you’re a female who likes pink or a male who likes yellow, you won’t be surprised to hear that it comes naturally. As it turns out, men prefer bright-colored things like yellow and red, whereas women prefer soft colors like pink and aqua, but if you’ve always thought that women talk more than men, you’re wrong. Most men probably wouldn’t agree with this statement. But after decades of study, research has shown that men talk more than women overall. And while a woman talks to create a relationship with the listener, men on the other hand try to influence the listener. Men, it seems, are always trying to make their point! And they probably think they’re right, too, because men are more self-assured, more self-centered, and more satisfied with their performance than women. Women are more critical of themselves and less self-assured. But all that self-doubt doesn’t seem to make them sick. While women worry about their health, men actually get sick twice as often. As to who is more forgiving, studies show that men are more vengeful and less forgiving than women. That’s in spite of the fact that a woman is more likely to remember the wrongdoing! Whereas women are better at remembering faces and events, men can remember more symbolic and spatial things, such as how to find their way back from a place they’ve driven to. It’s amusing to think about how some of these studies have proven what men and women have known all along. While men are better at finding their way or fixing a car, women are better at fixing friendships.
One of the biggest ways in which men and women are different is in how they communicate. Girls use language to get closer to others, to make friends. Language is used in a cooperative way. However, boys use language to establish their position among others. Language is used for competition. Both males and females carry these ways of using language into adulthood. This is true for all situations: in the home, at work, in personal and formal situations, in meetings, or at social functions. Women cooperate to bring about understanding. In contrast, men use power to negotiate their status. Recently, researchers were surprised to discover that this difference carries over into email communication and internet postings in chat rooms.
At first, researchers thought that language differences would be less or even disappear in an internet environment. After all, there’s no physical interaction. Writers don’t hear or see one another. So the playing field is quite equal. But as it turned out, they discovered that women and men have very different online ways of communicating. And these ways reflect exactly how they use language in their lives.
The language of males is adversarial. They use put downs, like “Get a life,” or “You must be dreaming!” or “Have you lost it?” They make strong statements too: “It’s a fact that…. ,” or “Here’s what I know.” They send more emails than women and they’re longer. Men also use language that is self-prompting, such as, “I happen to be an expert on this subject.” And they often use sarcasm, like “Yeah, right.” or “Sure, and the moon’s made of cheese.”
On the other hand, females generally use language that is supportive, like “I’m sure you can do it.” They express gratitude, such as, “Thanks for all your, much-appreciated help,” or “Thanks so much for the great advice.” Not only do women apologize more, such as, “I’m sorry I haven’t been in tough,” or “I apologize if I sounded harsh,” but they also express doubt and make self-conscious statements like: “I’m not sure I’m right about this, but …” Women ask more questions. And when they offer an idea or opinion, it’s usually in the form of a suggestion, such as, “I think it might help you if….,” or “I suggest you…”
After extensive study, researchers have concluded that all in all, men use language that is aggressive, competitive, and dominating, whereas women offer support and friendship. Furthermore, they believe that the different ways in which men and women use language in emails is as result of their different goals. Men see internet technology as a way to influence others and extend their authority and respect. On the other hand, women use it to strengthen existing friendships and make new ones.
Men and women have always known they are different. Men have thought long and heard about that, just as women have. It’s what brings them together-and also gives them headaches! Knowing that boys and girls learn and communicate differently helps educators to teach more effectively. And, of course, knowing how the male and female brains differ can help everyone to understand each other better.