لخّصلي

Almost everyone has indulged in gossiping about other people at some time. Gossiping seems to be part of human nature. Gossip is spread in classrooms, in offices, at restaurants, in hallways, on the street, over the phone, and on the Internet. No one is immune to gossiping or being gossiped about. But just why is it that people gossip?
There are many reasons people gossip. Some people gossip because it makes them feel like they are part of a group. The people spreading the gossip feel like they are in on a secret and that they are accepted by the people listening to the gossip. By excluding the person they are gossiping about, the gossipers feel included.
David Jardel has experienced this first hand. David recalls, "When I first graduated from college, I was hired along with a few other graduates to be an assistant at a news station. It was a really competitive job, and at first, it was difficult to make friends. We worked long hours and weren't paid very much. We were all really struggling. Or at least that's what I thought. But one day I overheard one of the other assistants, Rick, on the phone with his father. He asked his father if he could send more money to cover his rent. He also asked him whether he could increase the limit on the credit card he had given him. I got the feeling from the conversation that his parents were basically supporting him. I ended up gossiping about it to the other assistants. I knew I was wrong to do it, but at the time, I couldn't resist. We all had a good laugh about it, and it helped us bond as a group. But there was a price to be paid for that, and Rick paid it. We used to tease him quite a bit. For example, if we were ordering a pizza, we would say, "Oh Rick, wouldn't you prefer to have a nice meal at a restaurant and charge it to your daddy?" We meant it in good fun, but looking back, I can see how it might have seemed malicious to Rick. He ended up quitting. I've always felt bad about the part I played in his decision to leave."
Other common causes of gossip are insecurity and a need to feel superior. When you spread rumors about someone, it reduces that person's status in other people's eyes. Judging other people negatively can make insecure people feel better about themselves, at least temporarily. Jim Lyle recalls having been guilty of this himself: "When I had been at my first job for about a year, I was hoping for a promotion. Instead, they hired a new guy for the job that I had wanted. About six months later, a friend who worked in human resources told me that the new guy had been given a really bad performance review. My friend said that if his performance didn't improve, he would be in danger of being fired. I knew that this was confidential information, but each time I was having a conversation with someone in the office, I somehow found myself gossiping about it." Gossiping also made Jim feel powerful, important, and like the center of attention-at least for the few minutes it took to divulge the gossip. However, Jim adds, "His performance improved, and he's very good at his job now. Also, I've gotten to know him, and he's really a nice person. Now I'm always worried someone will tell him that I used to gossip about him!"
Interestingly though, the number one reason most young people gossip is not insecurity or a need for attention or acceptance. According to polls, most young people say they gossip out of boredom. Some people feel that when there no conflict grama in their social circle, life is too dull. For them, spreading rumors shakes things up and makes life ⚫more interesting. essence, for many people gossip is a form of entertainment. Cindy LaMott, a 19-year-old student at a community college admits to being a big gossiper. Explains Cindy, "The truth is too boring. Gossip is fun. Though, I don't -pyyhether I'd feel that way if the gossip was about me!" However, for all its potential to do harm, gossip is not always a negative thing. Some gossip is harmless talk that is part of how people communicate and stay connected with each other. When people gossip about minor things, gossip can strengthen bonds between people and within a community. The issue isn't so much with gossip itself, but with the content of the gossip. Gossip becomes a problem when it is derogatory and hurtful. So the next time you hear a piece of gossip and feel the urge to pass it on, stop for a moment. Ask yourself whether the gossip will do harm to the person being gossiped about. If you think it might, it's a good time to keep your mouth closed!