لخّصلي

The film explores the complex issue of cochlear implants for deaf children, contrasting the experiences of two families. Nita, a deaf woman, opposes implants for her daughter Heather, believing it would isolate her from deaf culture and limit her identity. She feels deaf people are marginalized and argues that deaf culture is valuable and should be preserved. However, after witnessing the struggles of her own childhood, she decides to be open-minded about the implant. Heather, who has hearing friends she wants to communicate with, expresses a desire for the implant.

In contrast, Peter's parents, Mary and her husband, face a different dilemma. They initially are devastated when Peter is diagnosed with deafness, struggling to comprehend how to raise a deaf child in a hearing world. They are presented with information about cochlear implants and decide to pursue them, hoping to provide Peter with the opportunity to hear and speak.

The film highlights the clash between the deaf and hearing worlds, exposing the fear and prejudice that deaf people often face. The families grapple with the ethical implications of the implant, debating whether it is a "cure" or a forced assimilation into hearing culture. Some individuals, like Mary, believe that the implant is a blessing that allows deaf children to fully integrate into society. Others, like Nita, worry that it disrupts a rich and vibrant culture. The film ultimately concludes with Peter receiving the implant, demonstrating the ongoing debate and individual choices involved in deciding what is best for deaf children.

do you know there are sounds everywhere I know that you don't hear them but everywhere there's sound when you open the door that's a sound when you knock on a door what ring a doorbell that's a sound right what's that what does that mean Oh a lion right everything makes a sound you could be right back I said that if you had a cochlear implant you could talk on a telephone are you telling a man today you're telling what are you telling Amanda what you're telling Amanda about getting an implant [Music]I was the oldest child in my family and I'm deaf I would never say I prefer to be hearing I really am happy being deaf it's very peaceful who would want to change that in my heart I know this is Who I am if somebody gave me a pill that would make me hearing would I take it no way I want to go to a hospital and throw it up and go back to being deaf I want to be deaf so in all three of my children were born deaf too I thought great my kids are just like me I started signing to my oldest Heather when she was a baby in my arms and now Ilook at her and I'm amazed at five she's already fluent in sign so when Heather came to us and said she wanted this cochlear implant it really upset me I felt she was rejecting me and my wife she wanted to be different she wanted to hear it's very unusual for a five-year-old deaf child to say that she wants to hear and speak and use the telephone I think it's because we're the only deaf family in our whole neighborhood Heather wants to communicate with hearing people I understand her motivation but I justwant her to be happy the way she is a hearing person really can't understand how you could be happy if your child is born deaf because everyone they know is hearing so when my brother and his wife had twins and found out one of them was deaf they were just devastated [Music] [Music] when we found that Peter was deaf we were very upset oh yeah you despite the the deafness in the family when we found out it was a devastating blow Peter I just have a CD player here that I'd like you to listen to just to sort of get anidea as to what hearing loss sounds like they filtered out all of the frequency information above 250 Hertz even more than what your son is getting right now [Laughter] that what you just heard that's probably even better than what your son is getting right now I've never heard any simulation of that so it's pretty amazing I didn't know what they could hear that's considered hearing being an audiologist for 25 years it never gets any easier for me to tell a parent that their their child is deafhearing that CD and then thinking about Peter they killed me a part of me died with a cochlear implant the child will be able to hear there are some children who are so profoundly deaf that they really don't get a whole lot of benefits from a hearing aid and in those children were able to restore a good deal of hearing by performing this operative procedure during which we insert an electrode into the snail-like portion of the child's inner ear the cochlea younger the better and why because whenchildren are younger they're learning language and it becomes a much more natural process than trying to learn language later on when we do a cochlear implant you know in an 18-month old that child is able to hear develop speech and relates not to deaf people but to hearing people when he was first diagnosed and the audiologist has said oh he's an implant candidate our viewers know why we've heard you know the implant isn't that successful it's really you know don't even bother looking into it thenword of mouth starts trickling down to us that and maybe we should investigate it and in this classroom there's several children who were born deaf came in through our infant program the head had received cochlear implants at two and a half years of age and now have been in our preschool program for a couple years and these children are getting ready to go into kindergarten next okay everybody's gonna have a turn okay all right Shelby can you to ask everybody is everybody ready everybody are you ready go ahead[Music] you tell me what she'd wind up okay Shelby was born deaf and she was implanted I believe that about two and a half years and how is she she was five last December so in two and a half years her speech is dead right right and of course when her implants not on how are you okay good and you can we saw those kids I was five again soon these kids [Music] the idea of this cochlear implant surgery is so scary it's so invasive they drill through the skull and have to go very deeply inside I'm afraid that cochlear implants aregoing to create a bunch of robots it just doesn't seem right for a deaf person because our natural communication is signing and being in the Deaf world when I was a child and when my parents spoke I was completely lost I would watch their gestures in their body language but I had no idea what they were saying I could hardly communicate with them at all but finally I learned sign language and I think that's when my life really began English is just moving lips it has no meaning for me but sign is so visualit's got emotion I could communicate for the first time my fear is that if Heather were implanted she wouldn't be part of the Deaf world or the hearing world she'd be part of some cochlear implant world when Heather plays with her hearing friends she does get frustrated she turns to her mother and me and asks what they're saying well we don't know either we're deaf too I feel so helpless she wants to communicate with them so badly so she says she wants a cochlear implant now why do you want a cochlear implant now everything I needto hear alarms smoke detectors for fire and many different things I saw cutting down a tree cars crashing horns beeping BB and here are the people talking in Florida in New York different states I was closed-minded before I didn't like the cochlear implant I thought it didn't fit with the deaf world but then I remembered what it was like for me as a child I grew up in a family where I was the only deaf person and where the whole town was hearing it was very frustrating I never learned how to and I felt like an outcast I don't wantHeather to have to go through the same frustrations that I did I'm willing to look into it but she's my daughter and I don't want her to get hurt I don't want her to be disappointed I just want to make sure that Heather is happy if she's happy I'm happy I will try to share things with both deaf and hearing people Heather told us that if she learns to speak she'll help us and then I realized she'll always be involved with us she knows that even though she gets a cochlear implant she'll always be deafif your child was blind if there was a surgery to give him eyesight would you do it and I know even my parents would say they would do it in a heartbeat well if you would do that why wouldn't you want to offer your child the best and give him an implant I'm the oldest of three children I had to go speech therapist for many many years to learn how to speak because I spoke like a deaf child and I would get the ridicules of kids saying nasty things about my parents in the way they spoke I would have to interpret for themI would have to be their advocate I didn't have a childhood I grew up very fast when I became older I sort of rebelled against my past I tried for so long to get away from Deaf culture and try so long to not be involved and then I had a child who was deaf so I think God prepared me for for this challenge we made a decision we've decided to give Peter a cochlear implant and put him in an all speaking program not one that teaches sign language you're forcing him doesn't know what it means he can't hearI'm not forcing him I'm giving him opportunities there's a difference people will insult him they'll fight with him you think deaf people will look at him yes I do I don't care what deaf people say when I told you Peter was deaf how did you react I felt happy happy God blessed him what do you mean blessed why do you think it's a blessing it's the first time we have a deaf member of the family Mary it makes me happy that's all but Dad when you were growing up it was tough right and as a deaf person you had a hard time gettinga job communicating right when you're a little boy how did you feel I was alone no one talked to me I rode my bike and I was by myself I just stayed home people froze when they saw deaf people they couldn't even talk to us I'd say what's wrong with you come on what is it they were scared of deaf people isn't that true that's not what I want for Peter mom I want him to grow up with all the possibilities that his twin brother has his dad what did your brother say Christopher yeah yeah that's Christopheryeah Mary loves this operation it is so foolish I'll take the baby Mary can go away look if she doesn't want the baby because he's deaf I'll take him and he can say bye that's all in the process of researching the implant for Heather I started to think maybe this would be something good for me too I thought that maybe it would give me a better quality of life I could communicate better and hear sounds my wife started talking about a cochlear implant for herself and I was shocked I said now you want one but you're deaf Ithought you were proud to be deaf she told me that I have to keep an open mind about all this [Music] I want a cochlear implant because I want to hear sound I know I'd still be deaf but maybe I'd feel better about myself I would feel more comfortable in the hearing world and I thought I'd go through with it to decide if Heather should get it one of the things I want you to understand about the implant is that the results that we see when we implant someone who's been deaf for a long time are not as good as when weimplant a young child for you you will be able to hear um people speaking their voices but you really won't be able to understand what they're saying you will still have to lip read and in cases where the person can communicate with sign language you will still be most comfortable using sign language when I look at my daughter she really wants a cochlear implant she says I have hearing friends and I want to talk to them when we think about a cochlear implant for your daughter who's 4 and 1/2 it's verydifferent because she is at a point where she is still developing language and speech we would expect if we implanted her at the age of four and a half that she would be able to develop near natural speaking skills have you met other deaf people who are 20 to 35 years old and who got an implant as an adult out of our 300 patients we have only five of them that are like yourself most of the patients that we see who have been deaf very young or deaf from birth and our older don't really seek implants it makes mefeel discouraged I'm not surprised though I knew it would be more difficult for an adult to learn language and speech even with an implant and there B I know that but I've learned that for a younger child it's not as difficult we have to support Heather she's young and has a lot of potential for Nita and me it's not gonna work it's too late then she decided not to have it I'm happy that she looked into it and made the decision for herself but for Heather it's a different situation he's ten years old and our whole familyis dead just like ours [Music] New Jersey is really really Fri like 60 miles or drive for hours and hours and DS and DS and finally will arrive [Music] Stan Diane and Nancy this is Heather Peter and Nita do you like the implant of course I like it can you use a telephone yes with something I plug into my processor can you baby try she can hear a snake tail rattle I saw a snake I could hear it yes snake is very dangerous it can choke you can you hear the animals in the zoo the Bears growl I came here animalsgrowl any animal can you hear a house collapse I never thought let's do that can you hear a car crash you think cars crash every day oh yeah one time yeah go say bill I've never seen the ghost boo oh I have another question can you hear different people talking at school well really no one just speaks all the kids in my class are deaf so they signed too and sometimes they don't speak at all but when I play with my hearing friends and use my cochlear implant sometimes I understand them and sometimes I don't oh reallybecause I've heard people say that with a cochlear implant you can understand everything no no not a hundred percent like hearing so can you show me how well you speak my name elation my father named Pete Marvin my mum name which is Manti name is Shane I live in a town he I have chip mapping mapping Bob Bobby hey bud Oh Nancy speaks sometimes at home but being deaf we can't tell if his speech is any good so I asked my parents and they tell me she speaks very well like perfect who do you socialize mostwith hearing or deaf mostly deaf people your family is deaf and all your friends are deaf so how do you feel that you're the only family with the implant how does it feel we never thought about it we're positive people there's no room for negativity here we just want her to be happy I've got one last question which do you like better wearing a hearing aid or having the implant what do you prefer I prefer the cochlear implant I really do I gotta say I appreciate your openness this is making us feel better you'regiving us good feedback you know I'm getting information from so many hearing people I've had enough of that we're deaf you know what I mean we're the same forget hearing people I still need proof that the cochlear implant really works I want to make sure it would be right for Heather [Music] I got it two years ago this is a microphone the microphone goes on here and now I hook up and now I can hear and now I can hear I lost my hearing when I was already grown up you want to touch it you want thesame see this look at the processor that's later good girl I like it very much mix everything loud I can hear I can hear birds Heather do you hear birds now if you want to tell me why you want a cochlear implant because hearing people don't sign do you have good speech let me hear your voice like my flimsy like she'll be like who else Christopher why is everybody talking nonsense because this school focuses on speaking yes at this school they teach using speech highly he'll feel about what the imprint[Music] [Music] something to eat it was such a struggle for Heather she tried to communicate with them but none of them knew how to sign and they knew nothing about Deaf culture so they don't have any deaf identity or self-esteem I feel bad for them because they're only focusing on speech it's because they all have hearing parents I have to do more research because I want Heather to have both worlds to be able to go back and forth to speak and to sign Heather is thinking about getting an implant likeyou see right now she has hearing aids can we show Heather your implant this is Shelby's cochlear implant it has given her what she never could have gotten from hearing aids this is the magnet that helps Shelby to hear and underneath if you take it off and see if you feel it there's a little bump do you want to feel it feel it that's the internal part that's the part that they do when they have surgery Shelby wants to you okay as the interpreter did you understand what Shelby was saying were the words clearto you yes I understand a clearly voice was very clear yes I'm just explaining to shelby she doesn't understand the use of sign language she's never been exposed to it they can't hear anything either and they don't have an implant and they don't have hearing aids so this is the way they know how to talk okay okay give it to Heather and let her read like you read okay Heather why don't you sign the interpreter will speak if you sign then she'll voice for you sign the story it's your language now you signshe'll speak you just leave your be now come on I want you to sign the story Heather want to speak all right all right let her be all right [Music] [Music] [Applause] okay I know that we come from a deaf world and you are from the hearing world but I want to know if you did any research to find out about deaf history or sign language before you had the implant done on your daughter or did you just go ahead with it without any real information I guess we both felt that there were more options available to herif she were able to hear that life for her would be easier more normal where she wouldn't have any restrictions even a profession you know such as surgeons I mean something so simple but if you can't rely on sign language and just surgery does she'll be think of herself as a deaf person or a hearing person because I'd like to know that what is her view of herself do you have any idea how she views herself with the cochlear implant she views herself as a hearing person without doubt she definitely doesshe doesn't know the death box at all do you want to go outside with Heather and play ask Heather she wants to play with you [Music] it seems that with a cochlear implant she doesn't use sign language why don't you allow it when she'll be six or seven if she comes to then and wants to sign will you tell her no or will you let her do it they feel from from the professionals that we've spoken to a speech therapist etc that sometimes the children may use it as a crutch and not be able to fully develop their speechand language I know the deaf culture is a very very important part of your life and I guess it's hard for us to understand why you would want to keep Heather in that world and not broaden her horizons oh we would love for Heather to get involved with both worlds deaf people hearing people everything but the point of this for us is that we're worried that the cochlear implant will change her identity it was really wrong for me to meet them I felt they were smothering me and they thought I was stupid but I'm just trying to dowhat's best for my family maybe Shelby's family feels ashamed of her deafness or embarrassed Shelby's going to grow up thinking she was implanted because of bad to be deaf Nita she's happy in the hearing world leave her alone why does she have to have a deaf identity because she doesn't even know what her deafness is she has no idea because her parents didn't tell her she's deaf she asks what is sign language Mary what is that I felt so bad I was really hurt she doesn't sign at all not even one wordand she acts like a hearing person why is it so important to be deaf yes deaf people have beautiful language but you miss out on so many other beautiful things in the world like music I don't care about music I can't hear it it's hearing a baby cry for the first time or being outside and hearing the beautiful rain you can hear the rain falling on the ground Oh Mary I don't you don't understand wait a minute you are hearing you can hear I never hear for me this is normal I can see the beautiful rain I can tastethe rain on my lips it doesn't matter to me to hear it it makes no sense to me but Anita you never experienced hearing I know what you're missing I thought about everything everyone said to me and I've decided to just disregard it and from now on make the decisions for myself people have been saying oh the cochlear implant is gonna make it better for Heather she'll be able to communicate better but I think my husband and I are going to do our best to give her a good education so she'll be able to have agood life without the implant do you know why your father and I decided that the cochlear implant is not a good idea for you it's because you're still young you're only five years old and you've started to understand your deaf culture you already have your language sign language deaf culture deaf culture means that there's a group of deaf people who sign and live together hearing people you speak that's their language in thier culture you're already involved in Deaf culture because your parents are deafand we all sign together is it easier than plan and become hearing no honey it's not easy do you care that you're not getting the implant now I don't care I don't care [Music] you know a little bit you know deaf sign say nice to meet you watch nice to meet you [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] big grandma the book the hearing person all we have at home I forgot it maybe later I'll go get it okay you know we changed our minds we don't want a cochlear implant now we want her to waitshe's already confused if she had an implant they're telling me that she's not allowed to sign and she has to speak we're not ready for that we decided to put it off and we feel much better about it suppose when she starts to eat when she starts to get old and she sees other children with cochlear and she's saying why don't I have that why make her wait and suffer more you don't understand she'll be missing out on deaf life forget deaf you are a mother first and you're a father first you do what's right forthat child Heather said to me I'm not ready to have a cochlear implant I'm too afraid I said that's fine so give her time it should not be her decision you don't talk about this in front of the child cause it's not her decision it's your decision oh right come on ma wait a minute she says to me grandma she says I want to communicate this is true she said communicate I won no no she says I want to hear same as you wrong what is that so my life really pushing stop pushing me I want to push for her Heather is anexception she's extremely bright she's a perfect candidate for cochlea I'll decide what's best for Heather I'm her father I know what's best for her no you don't know what I'm doing my opinion you don't know what's best for her you're worried about what other people will think I know what you went through growing up I know the frustrations you have no don't you don't have any you know what I went through you don't know what it's like to do death Peter I walked through the supermarket's within you in a basket other people looking atyou with hearing aids make it funny I don't care what you did not experience as a pair she will suffer more she's got your thinking no it's not my thinking talk to the educators go to the conferences the Deaf world is changed look at me ma look at me are you telling me I don't have a successful life life look at me now what do you think look you're my son I raised you from a little boy and I love you come on you're changing your whole if you were born today tomorrow you would go to a doctor for a cochlear implant thank GodI don't want an implant you don't need a coke you don't want it don't take it right everybody's trying to pressure me that's what you do Chris did I complain to you did I complain to you about your decision did I did I say a word to you to get angry because it's your daughter did I complain about you did I complain to you you want to do it for your daughter that's your issue Heather is my child and I am NOT being close-minded hearing people have their own way of looking at things I have a deaf family that is my life she's alwaysgiving me a hard time Peter all I'm telling you as a parent and as a grandparent you are choosing a tough road for Heather this is my decision Peter I never knew that you really didn't accept deafness until now Peter you only want to see what you want obvious you'd like to give my life for her was a gamble it is not a gamble now breaks my heart because I know what she's gonna go through they don't realize they don't know what the future holds of her the frustrations that they went through they don't remember cuzthey were too young but I saw the isolation I saw them you know being ignored because they're dead because people can't communicate with them and I don't blame the hearing world for that I mean they are my ninety the hearing world is not going to learn this time language I don't want to make Heather hearing I want to make her life easier I can accept her deafness what bothers me as it could be easier for her hearing people think that deaf is is limiting that we can't succeed I say no way no way look at meI'm deaf and I'm successful I work with computers at Salomon Smith Barney downtown on Wall Street I have to face the hearing world every day at work and it's tough there's no knees I'm dependent on emails and interpreters and be honest sometimes yeah I do feel limited but the hearing world can be very very selfish there's a lot of discrimination against deaf people Monday morning will have new configuration of cubes the honest truth is I probably can't go that much further up the corporate ladder[Music] mom you know we're going forward with the implant next week Peters going to the audiologist for tests and then he'll definitely get the cochlear implant in January a friend of mine asked me why he's getting it I told him you wanted it and they were very surprised he feels sorry for him what can I do you mean you're embarrassed about what other people will say about it I'm embarrassed because you're making and hearing so we'll speak well my family is all hearing and he's the only one who's deafhis aunt's and uncle's are all deaf he has a big deaf family it doesn't matter it does matter I want him to have the opportunity to be anything he wants to be here's such a lousy daughter mom says I'm a lousy daughter she just said that no no stop that she said I'm a lousy daughter because I want to implant my son how do you feel how do I feel yes dad how do you feel do you think I'm a lousy daughter no no no whose lousy Mary my daughter my difference wonder why a person like her who helps thatpeople who even interprets for deaf people wouldn't love her own child even to be born deaf my mother should look for charcoal when he is think that the hearing people are trying to make them hearing not true I don't mean to insult you changing it's not I know it's hard for deaf people to accept this because it's like the floor has been pulled out from underneath a deaf person I understand that but you still can't stop the future you can't stop progress today when parents find out their child is deaf they don't knowwhat to do with the child and they just force an implant on them these parents are selfish my opinion is if you're born deaf that's it you're right I agree with you now you're all going to come after me we have decided to give our son Peter a cochlear implant I want to give my son opportunities to live in both worlds you feel that deaf people are inferior so you want to implant your child in the hope that he will have a chance in the future is that what you're thinking it's not because we think deaf people arelimited it's because the world's view of deaf people makes things more difficult for well look at me I work for the New York Times I've been a supervisor of 25 hearing people for the past five years and I am deaf I'm a foreman my job and I control the whole shop my boss can't live without me and I'm stone deaf a child is not a guinea pig I think that the parent who forces an implant on his child is not considering that child's feelings the body belongs to the child when he grows up his parents can ask him then if he wants animplant but this is the best age for him to get an implant so how the best opportunity to learn speech and language we wait until he's 15 it'll be too late you know we're not taking his deafness away he'll know he's deaf I'll teach him is Deaf culture do we think the implant can kill Deaf culture yes or no yes yes once someone is implant that he will migrate to the hearing world and won't bother with the devil we can't determine what would have happened if the technology was available a long time agowho knows baby would all have implants who knows pretty soon we will look like robots not all deaf people can develop good speech and sound like hearing people maybe just 20% so deaf culture will persist for many many more years deaf culture is wonderful I think at times they're right that I am betraying all I know I still enter because here I I took it as a sign from this woman like luck this child is just like me you know there's nothing wrong he's part of our world leave him alone and that kills me thatkills me but at the same time I want the best for my child and I want to give him the best opportunity I can and the only way I know how is that there's this technology now that will enable him to become more functional in the hearing world the path is to hear that's the path that's what the world is like outside it is not intended for people to have a handicap it happens there's nothing wrong with that but it's not intended dad I know what you think the cochlear implant I really do but it seems to me that you just don't trust myjudgment yeah I don't trust that judgment right now no at one time I at one time at one time you and your wife said you were gonna do the coke we didn't say that look you were supporting it you were supporting it it's not so simple Peter at one time you were gonna go for the cochlear implant okay when Neeta went to find out if she could have it done and found out it may be too late everything went the other way you changed your mind you don't know that well she's not doing it is she yeah but she made thatdecision on her own she decided to herself she did that she made her own choice no I think you're misunderstanding if I didn't know you I would say that you were the abusing parent because you have an opportunity to take a handicap and correct it wait a minute dad dad I'm the one who toid my wife to take Heather to the cochlear implant school do you remember that when Heather came back home she herself said to me that she didn't want it we asked what happened as my mother told me that it's not good no you think I'mlying to you you are preventing a cure for deafness to take place because you are so involved with the death that you really want your children to continue to be deaf and if they function in the hearing world that's fine but they got to be deaf first that's wrong dad I have a deaf family I plan to work very hard to them what about a family of cripples a family of cripples cripples okay who can't walk that's not what I'm talking about we're talking about an implant that's different wait a minute you thinkdeafness is a handicap but I don't think that MS is a handicap that's from my heart I just can't hear dad you've raised me to be my own man so now I'm being strong for my kids if my children grow up to be successful then what will you say what happens if they don't come on you can't break the future I can't okay yeah you can't predict the future but you can give your children every opportunity that there is what you're not you're not giving them all the opportunities you are picking for them MA I saw two different families onedeath and one healing the girl from the Deaf family didn't speak well even though she had a lot of speech therapy her cochlear implant just didn't work so what would happen if we implanted Kathryn understand what you're saying and yes that's possible a deaf family it may not work but that's because that deaf family maybe is not making a full commitment to give them speech therapy to expose them to as much as they can be exposed to in the hearing world if you're not ready to do that then you're right then you're right don't give thema cochlear in my heart dad I know we'll be successful I mean that's my belief I think that the cochlear implant is a waste for our family you'd have to use the term abusive I find it hard using that because of my children and they're good parents I can't say they're abusive they're good ferrets but they're they're fearful and I understand the fear and I'm trying to get them beyond this fear they have to say that these are their children and they are parents first they'd have to stop hurting them and to me they'rehurting them okay now well suit we're doing say we're separating it can you say that's separating at play terrific separating that means one quarter one one water watcher Heather are you here it is what's this you're fantastic fantastic measuring cup what is it smell yes he smells like a cookie but it also smells like cinnamon sin min-hee very good cinnamon why do you want to speak so good why that's a pretty good reason you want to talk with hearing people yes with me and Grandpa I love you more Ilove you more my mother thinks it's tragic that Heather can't speak like a hearing person and I know that some people think that deaf people not implanting their children is abusive but you know what it's the same thing with hearing people they automatically implant their children and they don't know anything at all about deafness and I say that's abusive Shelby is doing amazing with the implant and I was actually surprised because I didn't know how she would be going into a mean stream class I mean the first day Iwouldn't know if she was gonna come home crying this transition was remarkable she just fell right in to the classroom and made new friends and it's listening to the teacher and is doing everything a normal first grader does everybody today is our a lot of times when you say okay kids let's get up and kids are getting up and they're pulling their chairs out and that noise Shelby could miss the next few instructions but with this sound filled box on her desk and with the teacher wearing the microphone her voiceamplified Shelby can hear her any reaction from the other kids I explained to the children Shelby has a cochlear implant and then I asked them if they wanted to touch it and all the kids went like this and the girls but then there was this one little girl that raised her hand and once she got in line to touch it everybody else wanted to come up they all touched it and they all weren't you know very satisfied with it it was yeah she's done she thinks she's just like everybody else you're about to implant your son andwhen I see him I'm gonna cry I think you're doing it because you really don't accept his deafness you're thinking about your parents and you're afraid when you look at your parents you look down at them because they're uneducated and you don't want Peter to be like them you don't want your children to be like any of us no I accept his deafness I love my son but if Peter can have a normal life why not let him have it what do you mean normal he can be whatever he wants and he'll speak for himself you want him to be brilliant youwant him to speak you're making it sound like you don't want Peter to go to a deaf school because you think the education is so bad Aneta deaf schools stink I don't want that for him oh that hurts yeah wait on it wait a minute obviously you think the deaf people are behind it doesn't seem that way to me not to me that's not right no no the average deaf high school graduate Reese at the fourth grade level that's it that's all no oh no not I didn't say all I said no God wait a minute wait a minute you said ohthis really bothers me I'm not saying that deaf kids are idiots no no I'm just saying the school stink deaf parents with deaf children know how to get them a good education everybody wants their kids to have a good education but for you to implant your child at 11 months so no no I now now now now he's still just a baby you should love your child give your heart your child and when he gets older the time is right then give him an implant don't destroy his emotional life he's a beautiful naturaldeaf baby after talking to Mary I was upset and angry but it kind of woke me up I asked my husband and he said it's true some deaf high schools do turn out students who only read at a fourth-grade level I realized I've got to focus on my kids and find the best school for them I knew there was a deaf community in Maryland and I've heard the school there is one of the best in the country Heather probably wanted the cochlear implant before because she wasn't exposed to the deaf world in Maryland there are so many deaf people that shecould really get involved with the deaf community and that's what we want hi there who are you Heather Heather nice to meet you and who are you tip can you spell it t I am Tim hi okay come on we're gonna read a story do you know the story of mrs. wishy-washy everybody take your seats Heather come on join us lovely mod said the cow and she rolled in it around and around and around lunch what do you think happens next the cow gets a bad right that's right in with the cow wishy washy wishy washy that's good that's really goodat the cochlear implant school in Long Island they weren't signing and Heather felt left out and couldn't get involved because everyone spoke she felt alienated but here at this school she's part of the group Heather walked into that classroom with her eyes wide open she was so excited when she saw those kids she jumped right in and got involved there was no stress on her to think about her speech communication was so natural for her she didn't have to think about speaking or hearing back on Long Island there's a huge hearingcommunity and they're in charge and give us orders but they really don't understand our Deaf culture I've tried to explain over and over I just can't imagine having to continue doing this while my children are growing up I don't want to deal with it I understand how you feel the city of Frederick has brought together deaf Americans there's America the big America and deaf communities like this one within America people here are very sensitive to the deaf community because this school has been here for over a hundred and thirtyyears we went to the store today and I asked where I could find a baby bottle and the sales lady signed back aisle ten I was so surprised I was amazed it's true here in Frederick you'll often find waiters who sign or bank tellers doctors nurses there's a lot of deaf awareness here I just feel inspired here I come here to the deaf world and I feel safe in the hearing world I feel locked up in jail I feel like I'm being held back I really want to move here but you have to be able to cover it withone coat when you leave when if you move out okay we've talked it over and Nita and I feel it's right for our family to move to Maryland Peter and I are the parents of these three deaf children and we will do what we think is best people can't tell us what to do they tell us we should implant our child put our children in oral program so they should have speech therapy every day we should do this and that because of their future I feel like I'm being forced to adhere to their wishes but you know what I amthrowing it all away we're going to decide what's best for our children [Music] we want to move to Maryland because we believe that's what's best for the kids what we feel is that you're putting a fence around the children because you believe it's the right thing in raising them in that community you're moving you are limiting your children you are forcing them you told me before I don't want my daughter to suffer the same way I did I would want her to hear music I would want her to enjoy life I did nothave that well what do you know Marion when I saw the kids in that school I realized that because of their sign language their language and writing abilities were equal to the hearing kids you may be 100 percent correct maybe it's the best school for the deaf in the world my feeling you are moving your family to escape an issue that's going on here cochlear implant mom I know how you feel about the cochlear implant but I don't want the implant for Heather that's it that's my final decision in Maryland we'll have moreopportunities more interpreters more communication deaf people are accepted they're living in Maryland will be better for our kids we're a deaf family Peter and I grew up deaf we know what it's like growing up in a hearing culture we could do better for our kids you don't understand that one way deaf way there are both worlds here you only want deaf world for your children they have to live in both worlds you why did you go for cochlear why she was curious curious that's both she said to me I want to be like the same I want to hearthe music I want to dance that's wanting to live in both worlds so you're saying we're limiting our children that's ridiculous we'll give them the best of everything excuse me can you read a recipe or by yourself with that help do you understand a recipe all of it you really have to ask me that I'm just dan I don't mean arrest me but it's not my fault my parents didn't teach me no kiddin but but I am teaching em what do you have it you're gonna be total thanks wait total that but I feel so muchpressure about this I've had enough you know what accept it you are running away are you running away because I'm pressuring no the best of your kids future you would be giving them a cochlear and the opportunity to have both worlds I feel like your mother keeps stifling me I feel like she's controlling us I want her off my back I know honey I know ignore her you're the mother we're gonna move on with our plans okay she's only the grandmother just ignore her I thought your parents to be proud of it but they would atleast trust that we're doing the right thing but they think we're making the wrong decision that's my parents that's who they are if my father sees that we're right he'll be alright with it but my mom is just being so heartless I tried to share how I feel she wouldn't let me just kept putting me down maybe so angry I tried so hard just ignore her you take it too hard can we get to Maryland you'll be much much happier I promise you you meet a lot of new people there there's a big deaf community there that will acceptyou for who you are what's most important is our happiness we've been through so much come here [Music] each one of our parents that come through get the National Association for the Deaf position statement on cochlear implants and I think for you in particular it's important that you read through this the position of the NAD is that and to quote them they deplore the decision of the Food and Drug Administration to support implantation and children they could say what they want they could bring anything they wantto get bring the president of nad to my house or they don't care it's a child that has this hearing loss providing them an avenue to hear and that's the end of it the rest of it is both you know my pictures gonna be blasted on a dartboard and the NAD is gonna be throwing things at me because with the poster child of what not to do according to their rules if you think things are negative now when you don't do this the response of those deaf members of your family are going to be extraordinarilystrong at that point and and the obvious reason for that is that you're taking a member of their society of their culture and you're pulling them out and and all of that stuff about what's the matter we're not good enough for him what's the matter you're ashamed of us what's the matter this is not the best life for him we've done perfectly well as deaf people we're proud of being deaf we're happy people why why do you feel compelled to have to do this in a couple of years when Peters is responding his cousins are gonna beturning around and asking a lot of questions so I I think that that's when the real furor Fury is going to come up is when the questions are going to be raised and how do you deal with something like that when you see Peter with the implant will that make you change your mind and want it no I don't want it you don't want it why I don't wanna Cleveland it's fine it's your decision whatever you're comfortable with you told me you decide we decided together remember we agreed [Music] [Music] [Music]what time did you get out about three o'clock but why can't you sleep because I didn't feel like Oh were you up all night worrying about the implant I was worried I was up all night [Music] well I don't feel worried I feel calm and relaxed well I feel work yes I really do it'll be fine [Music] when my children my children were born I would have never dreamed that you know we'd be sitting here you know today waiting my grandson to have my surgery on his ears to make him hear what if we lose deafness in the futureand they're no more death that's why you're upset and I understand that and either and neither I am sure feel the same way people will never forget what deafness is about because it's gonna be history ready to test here's the transmitter [Music] and now they look beautiful okay they're all fine if that gave birth now to Peter I don't mean to hurt you but I would definitely have the surgery because I know what it was like to raise deaf children tough very tough [Music] I everything worked real well noproblems no problems space moves he's breathing well he's in the recovery room actually if you go downstairs in about 15 minutes I'll probably let you as soon as he's awake enough to know that someone's there so Jim [Music] this makes me want to cry [Music] I'm afraid will make fun of me no never make fun of you he wrote all so well and then I'm afraid he'll hurt me so hard I'm gonna go up to see him now wait if you give birth to another deaf child would you have the surgery again yes mom I would we're bothdead that's all that matter [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] I'm gonna connect up the external transmitter here it's just gonna stick right on put this right here there we go let me begin by telling you a few things what we're gonna do is we're going to start to increase the current a little bit on the most low frequency electrode that we've got one of several things may happen we may not see anything at all we may see a negative response we may see some sort of searching or blinking or any of that so we're gonnabe paying very close attention in terms of watching him because that's what we really need to see okay even though you've waited a long time for this and he's waited a long time his ears were just born today I'm gonna go one two three go [Music] hi that was so good you did a great job good boy this is still relatively low 1 2 3 go you can ask for anything better guys I'm gonna tell you okay guys right now he's been listening to each of the electrodes which really is you know nothing very interesting although he'sbeen great we're gonna turn the speech on Peter Peter hi Peter hi baby boy how are you hi buddy his ears are exactly five minutes old okay so that's really the critical thing at this point to expose them to as much Peter good boy you hear daddy that's my boy you copying daddy it's a miracle you hear daddy the cochlear implant is providing my son with freedom and opportunity and the key to the world that's the opportunity that I'm providing for my son that's that's the criminal then my brother's too intohis to his family and it's abuse and I'll tell you right now I stand behind my decision a thousand thousand percent because my son will never go through when my brother had to go through deaf culture as they know it is done maybe it's true deaf people will become extinct and my heart broken Deaf culture is something to value and cherish it's my culture if you're hearing culture was wiped out hearing people would cry and feeling lost also would I [Music] [Music] [Music] say hi Peter good boy say hi again sayhi [Music]