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19.Hence, clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, Ph.D suggests being candid and straightforward when communicating your message.Someone lying about traffic holding them up, rather than saying they had slept in, for instance, or a "no, you look great in those pants" -- both achieve the 'make life easier' effect. Compared to bald-faced lies, they are not sinful, as they don't corrode trust and intimacy--the glue of society. 20. Yet, whereas we are convinced we lie for the sake of others, misleading a person distorts the truth about her/himself and possibly undermines relationships. According to Sam Harris, an expert in neuroscience, "By lying, we deny our friends access to reality--and their resulting ignorance often harms them in ways we did not anticipate.... Maybe Mary's dressmaker is incompetent, or maybe Mary actually could lose some weight, which would contribute to her health and happiness." Moreover, Harris says, little white lies often lead to major fabrications: "Very soon, you may find yourself behaving as most people do quite effortlessly: shading the truth, or even lying outright, without thinking about it."Feldman, for example, believes that omitting or shading the truth is the best approach for maintaining social contacts by evading insults or discord.The motive they are referring to falls into the realm of social norm or even necessity - the mindless pleasantries or polite ambiguities we offer each other in the name of tact.However, some researchers debate that not all lies are detrimental.These small inconsistencies are probably the top stimuli for 'white lies'.Our friends may act on the basis of our falsehoods, or may fail to settle problems that could have been resolved only with good information.The truth may not always be pleasant to the ear, but in the long term, integrity yields more genuine relationships, a lot more trust and sense of your worth from the people whose judgment you treasure the most.
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