1) What is listening...

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What is listening?On an informational front, effective listening gives peopleaccess to others" beliefs, knowledge, objectives, and attitudes, in part because people disclose information more readily and effectively to those who listen well. As a result, effective listening may help individuals better understand the context in which their influence attempts transpire, thereby enabling them to tailor their persuasive behavior to that context. Second, effective listening can also have important relational benefits. When people feel 'listened to' by would-be agents of influence their liking for,commitment to, and trust in the agents tend to increase, thereby expanding the agents' influence power. When it comes to the field of counseling and psychotherapy listening is a crucial skill. Many a therapist/ counselor think that because they are trained in counseling/therapy they have more knowledge than their clients; however, the blatant truth is that client is the expert on his or her own life. Therefore it's important for a counselor to listen so that he or she not only understand the words, but the underlying message of what someone issaying. Are there different types of listening/listeners then? Typically, researchers separate listeners into three or fourspecific types or levels. All systems are slightly different in how they separate listeners but all offer a continuum from non-listeners to very deep listeners. Newkirk and Linden (1982) present a system that examines three specific listening types: time wasters, dissonance reducers and active listeners. Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) put listeners in one of four general categories, according to the depth of concentration and sensitivity on the part of the listener. The four types are: the non-listener, marginal listener, evaluative listener, and the active listener. As we move from the first, through the fourth the potential forunderstanding, trust and effective communicationincreases. The highest and most effective level of listening is the active listening (Hunsaker and Alesandra, 1986; Newkirk and Linden, 1982). Active listening is a communication technique that increases understanding and rapport between speaker and listener. Rather than passively listening to the speaker (or not listening at all), the active listener pays close attention to both verbal and body language, then repeats back the most important points of the speaker's message. Active listening requires that we listen not only for the content of the speakers message, but more importantly, for the intent and feeling of the message as well. Theactive listener shows the listener, both verbally and nonverbally that they are truly interested and listening. They are usually skillful questioners, but never interrupt and are always looking for verbal and visual cues that signify the other person has something to say. Research has found that by listening effectively, you will getmore information from the people you manage, you will increase others' trust in you, and you will reduce conflict, you will better understand how to motivate others, and you will inspire a higher level of commitment in the people you manage. Active Listening Techniques There are several active listening techniques which assist people in utilizing their listening time to its fullest extent. According to Newkirk and Linden (1982) some of these techniques are: paraphrasing, reflection, neutral technique, clarifying and summarization. 1. Paraphrasing: when the listener restates in his own words what the speaker means. This is very valuable in testing the whether the listener really understood what the speaker meant and also to let the speaker know they are being actively listened to.

Reflection: is slightly different from paraphrasing; here the focus is primarily on how the speaker felt, than the content of the message. This is particularly importantwhen the speaker expresses strong feelings. 3. Neutral technique: encourages the speaker to continue talking. A simple nod of head or a "uh-huh" are usually effective signals that the listener is interested andlistening.Summarization: Involves combining the speaker"s thoughts into a concise statement which focuses on the speakers key points. Skills that Active Listeners Possesses Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) discuss three additional, very important skills that only active listeners possess. They are sensing, attending and responding. Sensing is the ability to recognize and appreciate the silent messages that the speaker is sending; that is facial expressions, intonation and body language. Attending refers to the verbal, vocal and visual messages that the active listener sends back to the speaker acknowledging the speaker and their message. This also establishes a receptive listening setting, away fromdistractions, private without invading the speakers "personal space."Listening is defined as a form of communication that involves hearing, interpreting, and constructing meanings; an active process that is not limited to the spoken word; and an essential way of participating in daily routines as well as wider decision-making processes.A study of over 8,000 people employed in businesses, hospitals, universities, the military and government agencies found that virtually all of the respondents believed that they communicate as effectivelyas or more effectively than their co-workers.It includes interpreting and is an ACTIVEPROCESS not a PASSIVE ONE at that.It involves HIGHER MENTAL PROCESSES likeplanning, meaning making, decision making etc.But,in fact, listening effectively is something that very few of us can do. It's not that it's hard, but it's just that we haven't (or chose not to) developed it enough.Are listening and hearing one andthe same or are they two different things?Are you a Good Listener?So in simple words- 1.It's MORE than HEARING.2.3.

Original text

What is listening? Are listening and hearing one andthe same or
are they two different things?
Listening is defined as a form of communication that involves
hearing, interpreting, and constructing meanings; an active process
that is not limited to the spoken word; and an essential way of
participating in daily routines as well as wider decision-making
processes.
So in simple words-

It's MORE than HEARING.

It includes interpreting and is an ACTIVEPROCESS not a
PASSIVE ONE at that.

It involves HIGHER MENTAL PROCESSES likeplanning,
meaning making, decision making etc.
Are you a Good Listener?
A study of over 8,000 people employed in businesses, hospitals,
universities, the military and government agencies found that
virtually all of the respondents believed that they communicate
as effectivelyas or more effectively than their co-workers. (Could
everyone be above average?) However, research shows that the
average person listens at only about 25% efficiency.
Everyone sincerely believes or would like to believe that he or she
listens. Maybe a tiny percent may even believe that they need to
improve upon their listening skills. But,in fact, listening effectively
is something that very few of us can do. It's not that it's hard, but
it's just that we haven't (or chose not to) developed it enough.
Studies show that immediately after the average person has
listened to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what
he has heard—no matter how carefully he thought he was
listening. What happens as timepasses? Two months after listening
to a talk, the average listener will remember only about 25% of
what was said. In fact, after we have barely learned something, we
tend to forget from one-half to one-third of it within eight hours; it
is startling to realize that frequently we forget more in this first
short interval than we do in the next six months.
Despite all of this, while most people agree that listening
effectively is a very important skill, most people don't feela strong
need to improve their own skill level.
Is Listening such a big deal?
To a large degree, effective leadership is effective listening. A
study of managers and employees of a large hospital system found
that listening explained 40% of thevariance in leadership.
On an informational front, effective listening gives peopleaccess to
others‟ beliefs, knowledge, objectives, and attitudes, in part
because people disclose information more readily and effectively
to those who listen well. As a result, effective listening may help
individuals better understand the context in which their influence
attempts transpire, thereby enabling them to tailor their persuasive
behavior to that context.
Second, effective listening can also have important
relational benefits. When people feel 'listened to' by would-be
agents of influence their liking for,commitment to, and trust in the
agents tend to increase, thereby expanding the agents' influence power.
When it comes to the field of counseling and psychotherapy
listening is a crucial skill. Many a therapist/ counselor think that
because they are trained in counseling/therapy they have more
knowledge than their clients; however, the blatant truth is that
client is the expert on his or her own life. Therefore it's important
for a counselor to listen so that he or she not only understand the
words, but the underlying message of what someone issaying.
Are there different types of listening/listeners then?
Typically, researchers separate listeners into three or fourspecific
types or levels. All systems are slightly different in how they
separate listeners but all offer a continuum from non-listeners to
very deep listeners.
Newkirk and Linden (1982) present a system that examines
three specific listening types: time wasters, dissonance reducers
and active listeners.
Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) put listeners in one of four
general categories, according to the depth of concentration and
sensitivity on the part of the listener. The four types are: the
non-listener, marginal listener, evaluative listener, and the active
listener.
As we move from the first, through the fourth the potential forunderstanding, trust and effective communicationincreases.
The highest and most effective level of listening is the active
listening (Hunsaker and Alesandra, 1986; Newkirk and Linden,
1982).
Active listening is a communication technique that increases
understanding and rapport between speaker and listener. Rather
than passively listening to the speaker (or not listening at all), the
active listener pays close attention to both verbal and body
language, then repeats back the most important points of the
speaker's message.
Active listening requires that we listen not only for the content of
the speakers message, but more importantly, for the intent and
feeling of the message as well. Theactive listener shows the
listener, both verbally and nonverbally that they are truly
interested and listening. They are usually skillful questioners, but
never interrupt and are always looking for verbal and visual cues
that signify the other person has something to say.
Research has found that by listening effectively, you will getmore
information from the people you manage, you will increase others’
trust in you, and you will reduce conflict, you will better
understand how to motivate others, and you will inspire a higher
level of commitment in the people you manage.
Active Listening Techniques
There are several active listening techniques which assist people in
utilizing their listening time to its fullest extent. According to
Newkirk and Linden (1982) some of these techniques are:
paraphrasing, reflection, neutral technique, clarifying and
summarization.

Paraphrasing: when the listener restates in his own words
what the speaker means. This is very valuable in testing the
whether the listener really understood what the speaker meant and
also to let the speaker know they are being actively listened to.

Reflection: is slightly different from paraphrasing; here the
focus is primarily on how the speaker felt, than the content of the
message. This is particularly importantwhen the speaker expresses
strong feelings.

Neutral technique: encourages the speaker to continue
talking. A simple nod of head or a “uh-huh” are usually effective
signals that the listener is interested andlistening. This may sound
cliché; however a lot of people actually do not do it/sustain it in reality.

Clarifying: is the technique used when the listener needs
more information of a specific nature. It usually takes the form of a
question.

Summarization: Involves combining the speaker‟s thoughts
into a concise statement which focuses on the speakers key points.
Skills that Active Listeners Possesses
Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) discuss three additional, very
important skills that only active listeners possess. They are
sensing, attending and responding.
Sensing is the ability to recognize and appreciate the silent
messages that the speaker is sending; that is facial expressions,
intonation and body language.
Attending refers to the verbal, vocal and visual messages that the
active listener sends back to the speaker acknowledging the
speaker and their message. This also establishes a receptive
listening setting, away fromdistractions, private without invading
the speakers “personal space.”
Responding is when the listener gets feedback on the accuracy of
the speaker's content and feelings, tries to gather more information,
attempts to make the speaker feel understood and encourages the
speaker tounderstand themselves, their problems and concerns
better.
Tips to Better Listening
The most important thing to keep in mind is that listening is a
process, and one that requires a lot of effort. The following are a
few tips that can help you get better at it.
Prepare yourself to listen. Calm yourself down first. Relax.
Take a break from what you were doing. And poiseyourself so that
your speaker gets your un-diverted attention.
Avoid distractions. This is obvious. Please keep your
phones, and stay away from the internet or any other
distractions. Don‟t try to divide your attention between the speaker
and something else. You may think you‟re good at multi-tasking,
and maybe you are, but demonstrating a commitment to the act of
listening meansyou respect the other person, that they deserve your
undivided attention.
Make the speaker comfortable. It may seem it's easy to talk
and confide. However the hard truth is it takes a lot of effort to let
go and confide. So ensure that you give them the time and the
space to do so. Also consider it a privilege to listen, than a favor.
Be patient-Don't interrupt the speaker. until they are done
speaking. You can however supplement the interaction by
nonverbal cues like nodding, and “humming” etc. There may be
several ideas cropping up in your mind about what may help, all
that can wait till they are done.
Don't rehearse your response in your head! Your job right
now is only to listen. If you start planning what you can say, you
would miss out on crucial things that the person had to say.
Watch out for Non Verbal cues. The long pauses, the
silences. The tears. The smile. The sudden increase in the rate of
speech, the tone. They are clues to what is important to the
speaker.
Don't complete the speaker's sentences. This often comes
across as presumptuous and rude. It affects the entire process to
begin with and will make the speaker want to listen to you less,
maybe even talk less.
Listen for Ideas Not Words. This way you can remember
what the speaker is sharing. Look out for fundamental ideas that's being conveyed.
Clarify politely. Once the speaker is done speaking, Please
clarify any doubts or gaps in information. Do not work under the
assumption that what you understood of what was said is accurate.
Address the speaker's points. It will make it easier for the
speaker to transition into a listener when they know exactly what
part of their message you're addressing.
Be Empathetic. Empathy is one of the most used wordsthese
days, however according to me, the most difficult thing to
practice. We can however choose to better atit every day. It's
the ability to stand in the other person's shoe, to understand the
situation from their frame of reference. I sure can vouch that it
develops with practice.
Remember that listening does not equalagreement. Just
as the speaker is entitled to his/her opinion so does the listener.
Both can coexist. Listening doesn't essentially mean you agree on
everything.
Avoid faking attention and pretending to listen. This isthe worst
thing anyone can do. If someone thinks you were paying attention
but in reality you weren't, you are inviting trouble. It would seem
to them as if you are insulting him/her. If you are asked to
respond in some way, but if caught unawares, there may not be a
going back.
Listening is the most important part of communication, because if
you fail to understand the message being conveyed to you, you
will also fail in providing a substantial and meaningful response.
This is the root cause of many arguments, misunderstandings, and
complications, whether at home, school, or work. Therefore, being
able to improve upon your skills as a listener, can change a lot of
things for you as well as for others.

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